The Diary Of A Single Woman – Part I

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I was born single. Not so funny.

I am single, what does make it funny.

I am single by choice, it makes me rebellious. I am single by circumstance, Poor Me.

I am single because my parents gave me freedom to decide who I would like to spend my life with. My parents don’t have a decision power. Go get a life!

I am single and straight, still a big problem. Had I not been  straight, people would have understood my orientation.

My mum would immediately start match making, if she sees any guy around me and if  that guy looks desirable, she is hardly bothered whether I am interested or not. Then she gets a taste of religious ( not so religious ) discourse from me. ‘He is a friend or colleague and not  my future husband.’ Next time she wouldn’t do that, I hope everytime and she surprises me each time next time. Back to square one. ‘Don’t you like that guy, he is so handsome and tall.’ “Mum, I do not have any modelling assignment for him”!!!

My acquaintances  see me with any male friend of mine, and he is labelled my boy friend.’ Oh you didn’t tell me, you are seeing someone.’  ‘Well I see everyone, I have eyes, but I am not seeing any one someone SPECIAL.’ or who know me lesser, my male friend is thought to be my Husband. I am afraid when I walk with my brother sometimes and any beggar would come around and pass judgement on me to bless me.

I was sick and away from my family  and was admitted to hospital , my friend helped me to get there, the doctor looked at my friend , ‘please take good care of your wife, she needs proper rest.’

Thank you doctor, he is my friend. Please check next time, if he is married or unmarried because if he is married, his wife will have a heart attack and if he is single his girl friend would kill me.

I could write a thesis on disadvantages of having male  friends around me but it is my good or bad luck that I have run out of girl friends in my kitty- most of my female friends I knew are thousand miles away and couple of them who are there around me get too busy due to their family commitments. But there is big advantage of having male friends around me, they don’t judge me, they don’t ask me what cosmetics I have been using, what new dress I would be wearing for my next party or if my hair style is too crappy. Girly gossips not my cup of tea. But that does not disqualify me as a girl.

Seriously is marriage the door to Moksha or to Heaven. Or is this the Amrut which was churned out of the sea and if I don’t have it I am the Ultimate Sinner on this earth. You should be married – a Label like Make In India – you just need to have that label without bothering it actually got made in India..

I wonder what it takes to get married –  Being beautiful, I am not ugly. So I qualify. Yippies!!!

Being homely, I may not look like some say but who know me can vouch for that.

Being religious , not blind follower but highly spiritual and believer in God.

Being caring, I am and love kids and family.

Being a home maker , I am. I am a working woman but don’t working woman also make homes.

What if you qualify for the job, but you still don’t get it. Would you settle for less, may be if you are needy. Whether I am, may be, but would I settle for less. Never.

Do I regret, being Single. Never.  I am so comfortable in my own company. Living alone has given me great insight into life. My life has started at the end of my comfort zone.

Our society has set character certificates and standards for single women. Do I care, no. It’s my life and I am making it what I want it to be. Without partner, without regrets, without expectations, without leaning, without blaming. I am single woman  with commitment with every relation around me. I do not lose my commitment even for a second.

I am single.  Only a miracle can change this status. I believe in miracles but I do not wait for them to happen. I do my karma and that is all I can do.

Am I in Love? Yes, I am MARRIED ironically to Love from the time I was born and I love everything god has given me and I want to spend my life appreciating what I have rather than regretting and feeling sad for what I don’t have. Who knows, I may be worse off with what people think a blessing. For me even my problems are my blessings because my God guide me through.

I am a lone fighter and everyone is. Some get partners to lead a life, some don’t. Who don’t get, does not mean they are in any way less. I just look into positive side of it and think that God believes I am strong enough to lead my life alone. I am and will be happier with my own karma and the destiny my karma brings with it.

I am Single and I hold my head high!

Cheers

©Rekha

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