My would-be husband went  to the future on a Time Machine straight from the past, WTF-antastic epiphany he had and he missed to take a transit halt in the Present. He just said,” I love you, I want to marry you” and poof his time machine took off before I could understand what just happened. I tried to think the best of cuss words for him, unfortunately, I couldn’t and literally screamed at the top of my voice and flung my arms thinking that may reach him but instead I heard a thud sound and I gasped for breath and woke up. Yes …..woke up, thank God it was an idiotic dream about an idiot.

I cannot call it a nightmare but a comical situation. What a funny man he was- he did not have a mobile number- he lived in such a distant past with no technology and then he managed to fly in his time machine, the technology of which, I am still trying to understand. So he is a jerk with complete diverse split personalities.

I was gobsmacked and slapped myself. I am still SINGLE, I smiled at my housemate who was still in bed with me,  I kissed him and we both smiled at each other. Now your dirty mind is thinking way beyond I just disclosed. Tuffy is my housemate, you may call him Teddy Bear but I call him my mate. I had read somewhere do not treat people as things, but these days I am treating things like people. Sorry, Tuffy is not a Thing, he is everything. Aww, you would say.

Did Cupid forget to visit my street – sorry my house and hit it with the love arrow? Am I single because I do not know anything about love or because I know too much of it? I think the latter is correct. It is as correct as of the statement that I can learn driving through a correspondence course or through long-distance skype calls.

I recently went to India to visit my family. My mum is definitely the person I have to talk about. During this time, what I listened daily from her was about the astrological forecast, some bhajans coming on tv and of course that I should look for a husband and I gave her the most important reason as well for this. Yes, I had a cough and cold. Now your eyes just got widened, though you have not stopped breathing, you just gave me that attitude look and said, “ Cough -what is this reason?” I will come back strongly on this defending my mother, she has all the good reasons to believe so. If I have a cough it means I am not well enough and gotten fragile – a very worrying situation if I have to be in a foreign land and cannot afford domestic help. Right?  I really need to have someone by my side. Right? And sure you know who, so please say in Chorus …Myyyy Husbandddd. She said,” I am worried how do you manage over there, you keep saying you are well but see it is just two days that you reached here, and you are already coughing badly “ or in her words,” barking like a dog”. I said,” Mum this is not a life-threatening ailment, I will be alright in a week.” Did I say, I said this to her,  no I wanted to say but the words just got stuck in my throat and left through my nose as I sneezed? Aanchhhu……..

Listening to what my mom had to say about my situation, my cough went on a rampage. I asked my cough in desperation,” Are you on my side or my mother’s or that idiot who went  to future?”

Now my cough was acting like my doting husband – not leaving me. I came a month ago back to Australia and it still said I will be your side in good times or bad. I retorted back. “ My good times will come when you leave me.” It was extreme cold back home in India and it is warm here in my home in Australia. I feel like shaken to the core, not because of an epiphany but due to the constant coughing as if hitting some Opera notes. I felt like a hot pizza in the refrigerator in India and now like ice cream in the oven in Australia.

When my condition got aggravated, I thought I must see GP before my vocal cords burst due to constant coughing. I took an appointment with GP and told him that every time I go to India I have this terrible cough which takes ages to heal, he chuckled and his remedy was – do not go in future. Really if I do not go in future how will I meet this idiot who just went to the future?

I know you are thinking till now I was running away from marriage and all of sudden I am thinking of this guy who wanted to marry me. It’s not that, let me explain I am analysing my dream. Did my future husband ran away because of fear of hearing No – he did not even realise I could have said yes or he flew away just thinking what the terrible thing he just said and what if I said yes. Complete hazy picture – AATA MAJHI SATAKLI ( translation -I am going mad now).

You know it is good to be married only if you are married to each other with your flaws and both are accepting the flaws in each other. Problem is we are too busy impressing each other before marriage that we get on the back foot when the reality hits us and we see only the flaws and not the positive traits. My take on marriage is not to say yes until you are 101%  sure about the gamble you are going to take, so even if you know – you two are not perfect but perfect for each other then you are ready to accept the downfalls coming with it and you vow to rise above them.

Before I left India, I told my mom I will not marry someone just to take care of me, I can do that by myself, I would marry someone with all his flaws only when an asteroid hit my head and it forces me to say yes, once I have said yes, I know how to live by it. But my mum said something, which reminds me of Napolean Hill quote which is as follows -“Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.” She said you have to desire for the right man to come in your life and you will surely get one. Heavy words!!! But the right side of my brain reminded me that to wish for that – I also have to be the right woman in his life. Now I am checking the probability of both’s desire hitting at the same time and the same point in 7.8 billion people. Hope that probability achieves the success rate before I turn 90.

I am signing off now and will begin the search for my time machine to follow him to future to finally be an obedient child for my parents.