Don’t take this quote as pathetic – I am single because I was born that way and lacked any vision to change that status. Sounds boring. My explanation- I am perfectly fine in my own skin facing the situation where I did my karma of looking around for a partner and then realised if there is nothing enticing enough, let it be my choice to remain single until out of nowhere someone comes to change all of that which was unchanged till now for a change – it would be like reversing the Only change we dread – the CLIMATE CHANGE – too much of CHANGE for now!!! I am already panting.
Just back from my walk where I am challenging myself to almost 30 minutes of activeness every day. Trying to break the mundane monotony by not just walking but by enhancing my perception and observation as I saunter. On my way I saw so many women who were walking along with smiles on their faces, I do not know their stories – they may be married, unmarried or separated. Who knows? Most of them exuded confidence, charm and positivity through their smiles, those who looked worried, I felt the urge to go and ask them,” Are you married?”
Out of nowhere suddenly a strange question popped up in my mind -I was curious to know how many single unmarried women exist on this planet? There are clues of life on other planets but no one is sure 100% about it, not even the scientists – so we will leave the other planets out for the time being from our statistics on a single unmarried woman. Wait, women are from Venus- isn’t it-who found that out?Did someone visit Venus recently? And why scientists are more interested to go to Mars when women are from Venus? Anyway, let us leave it at that, I did try to find the percentage or numbers but they were not available anywhere apparently( just like finding a SUITABLE MATCH FOR ME by my parents)– so I gave up as this is not the mission of my life( JUST AS MARRIAGE). Though on one website I could find a piece of tiny winy information on the percentage of an unmarried woman in India. According to 2008 data available – between the ages of 25 – 59 years, 89.5% of Indian women are married, as compared with 65% of American women in the same age group. As for the unmarried women in that age range, the “never married” account for 2.5% in India versus 16% in the U.S. Wow this is so awesome, I belong to 2.5% – how far is this true and where did I find this information, sorry I forgot to save the URL or source.
How did I fall in this 2.5% or why MARRIAGE became a MIRAGE for me or why it does not enrage me that I am not married. The thing is – why should I regret it? I do not for two reasons. First reason, my mum says marriages are made in heaven – ok , agreed , not only my mom , everyone’s mom , dad, uncle, aunty, nieces, nephews, grandpa and grandma says that, so if they are made in heaven – then certainly whoever is managing that department is pretty freaked out as he missed girls in millions and also had some wrong connections and cross-connections done which led to divorce and extramarital affairs. Or the software he is working with is not updated. The second reason- whatever we get in our life is predestined but still, we have to do our karma to achieve it – though this is more confusing to me than how Donald Trump got elected as President of USA still I can do with it.
I cannot even visualise myself being married though I can visualise a bullet train or completely Harmonised System of Religion in India in near future in comparison.
According to 2012 data available (https://unstats.un.org/unsd/demographic/products/indwm/), there are 649474.321 thousand women in India and 608876.65 thousand men, with the sex ratio of 94/100. Hence 6 guys out of 100 are sure to die single, and out of 94 girls if 4 do not get married then 10 men are going to remain single, hence the women still hold the power in marriage market and if I chose to remain single I belong to the powerful category – and tell me who does not love power, I love Power:). But I have to admit a couple of times I have broken the rule of my CHOICE to be single to keep my mom happy and go on Marriage Tourism once in a while, just like we go on a pilgrimage – we go to the shrines and temples without actually bringing the deity along. oh ho…I mean on a quest for a suitable match but I realised sooner than later that it is easier said than done.
Sometimes I want to explore deeper, am I normal to be like this or am I scared? So let me delve further into the reasons – Do I have Gamophobia? Now you are bewildered – what the hell is this Gamophobia, well Gamophobia is fear of marriage. I don’t think I fear commitment, I cannot fear something which I am always ready to do in every sphere of my life – right? Or wrong – I fear it because I have not experienced it and fear to experience it…it is as simple as what came first – chicken or egg? By the way how craftily someone has coined the word “Gamophobia” as if phobia of some Game – game called marriage. Went further to research it, this word Gamo is a greek word which means marriage…Hmmm- dismayed.
Ok, back to our topic being single is empowering – it requires a lot of courage and faith in oneself to venture on this path. Only those can venture on this path who do not get bored in their own company. Those who fly solo have the strongest wings, I just heard and felt a smack at the back of my head, the married one shouted- idiot what is the rationale in the strength of the wings being strong only for those who fly solo – it may depend on diet, their physical health, their mental attitude and so on. What a deep analysis of the quote hey – I have to give up on this age-old quote in a second.
Single woman is not a revolution – she is an evolution I read somewhere. Is it, are we evolving into something like we evolved into the human race from apes. In future are we going to have LED screen on our foreheads saying single, not ready to mingle?
Jokes apart. Though I love to joke on myself and my status a lot with my close friends who sometimes get closed, I would love to dedicate the following lines to all single women-seriously.
Single woman is sometimes by choice – but also when she had no choice
Single woman is sometimes ambitious but also when she had no aim.
A single woman can be hated as she is thought to be too confident but she can be loved too because she always cares to be around
A single woman can be gutsy to challenge the traditions but she can be single because she could challenge none.
A single woman knows love no less than anyone but she may have experienced it never.
Single woman is independent but somewhere she is single because she was too caged.
Single woman is dominating, not always, she may be single because she was so subdued.
Single woman is beautiful and picky but she can be single because she was thought to be ugly.
A single woman may be fair in complexion and dark inside but she can be single even if she was fair inside and dark in complexion or she can be fair inside out.
A single woman may be the boss everywhere – but still, she is asked the question of why she never found her boss.
A single woman can be detrimental to married women if she is in the periphery of a married man – but more so when the marriage of that couple was loose as the character of her partner.
A single woman can be a serious woman with no relationships but she can be the jovial one switching on from relationship to relationship.
A single woman can be unmarried and so can be the one who was divorced, widowed or just not cared for by her husband.
Single woman is still not single – if she is with lovely friends who just understand her.
Toast to all single women I know – and respect to all the married ones who gave up their singlehood for the right or the wrong guy 🙂
Rebecca Traister – “The revolution is in the expansion of options … Single female life is not a prescription, but it’s opposite: liberation.”
The writeup is for humour and not intended to offend anyone including me 🙂
(C) Rekkha October 13, 2019
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
Nice article, well articulated .
Thanks Sri
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
You have turned out to be a splendid writer and improving with every new attempt. I would love to see your name soon in some too bookstore. Your writing today was very captive and held me in same position till the last word.
thanks Puneet, means a lot
Visitor Rating: 4 Stars
Visitor Rating: 1 Stars
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
Funny, Emotional and Truthful. Salute to All Single Women.
Thanks Ricky
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars